A mom's blog about the mostly ups and sometimes downs of raising a child with autism.
Monday, September 13, 2010
And So We Tumble Into Fall
It is that time of year - the hustle of school buses, the morning air so crisp that I shuffle into my robe pulling it tightly around me as I wait for the coffee to brew. Coldness settles on the windowsill and the box elder bugs are starting to huddle on the screens searching for warmth. Even the bees are flying slower and stinging more impatiently.
Another summer has gone by, slow at times and other days passed with the quick, focused speed of a bullet train. My boys wake earlier, sleep in their eyes trying to adjust to the inky morning darkness, their limbs and eyelids heavy.
I scramble eggs and make toast and cook bacon, feeling my life coming back to me, my time returning. And perhaps I do this too greedily, forgetting how quickly this time does pass and how even the rough days will somehow be lost to me and I will probably miss it. It is the hard days that make the good days taste that much sweeter.
The summer was tough but I shouldn't let that put an overcast on the entire season. We did have some family fun. We camped at the central coast of Oregon near Florence surrounded by mountains of sandy dunes that led to the tumble of ocean. Sean scurried up and down the dunes, sand spraying like silver glitter.
We went to the high desert and slept in cedar cabins and ate corn and flank steak with friends. We hiked a dormant volcano, trudging and balancing up the sharp edged and polished black obsidian rocks.
We went to the Cascade mountains, and set up camp right next to a fresh, clean alpine lake. At night the sky throbbed with fat, electric stars, our faces sparkled in starlight as we tucked into the tent.
These were definitely glimpses of grace and beauty, reminding us that we live in splendor and that if we are still and far away from the noise and bustle, we can bear witness to the movements of angels and hear the hushed whispers of earth and sky. And although the moments were fleeting, when I close my eyes I feel I can see those stars as they were, unreal and pulsing, and pick them one by one like fresh, dewey apples, a bushel of stars to hold in my heart.
Currently, I am fulfilling the duties of Mom. Before this role I used to write and read poetry at the Poetry Slams at the Green Mill in Chicago and other cafes in the city. I am trying to find my way back to that, trying to incorporate this journey that I am on with my love of words and poetry.
I have two great boys, an equally great husband and a fairly lazy, unenthused cat. Add to that, I have lots of good, creative friends (one that manages to get me to go to the Shakespeare fest in Ashland,OR every year!!) and wonderful parents and siblings.
I am trying to learn to live in the moment, to jump in without too much analyzing and thought. This is new to me as I have always been considered a "worry wart". Wish me luck.
What is the purpose of this study? The Simons Simplex Collection (SSC) is focused on families with just one child with autism, called simplex families, which will provide insight into the most common and unexplained form of autism. This comes at an exciting time in history, in which breakthroughs in gene mapping, advancement of high-tech tools, and the latest brain research present a unique opportunity for progress.
Whom should I contact to get more information? Emily Champoux, Project Coordinator Toll free: 1-800-994-9701 or 206-616-2889 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Additional SSC information available at: http://depts.washington.edu/uwautism/research/simonssimplexproject.html